I've wasted 3 years of my life chasing a life that I don't even want. But the crazy part is: I thought I was getting closer to my dream life every day.

So, if you:

• Don’t know what you should do in life.

• Struggling to achieve your goals.

• Aren't sure if you're moving in the right direction.

• Feel like you're forced into a life that you don't want.

this is for you.

I want to start this newsletter with the most important idea that you will read today.

When you feel lost - like you don't know what you want from life. Like you haven't found "the answer" yet. The issue is not that you don't know, it's that you forgot or are suppressing your true desires.

Because knowing what you want from life isn't that difficult. To figure that out, you only need ten minutes.

• Write down all the things that you don't want.

• Write down the opposite of all those things. (lol)

Here you go. You've found what you want.

Now of course, you will not have structured out your entire life. But you will have a clear direction to go towards. It's as simple as this:

• I want to be in good shape → Go to the gym regularly, eat healthy food, rest enough, do this for a long time

• I want to have a personal brand → create valuable content online, build an audience, monetize through a product or service

I could go on & on, but you get the point.

I hope that both of us can agree that you can figure out what you want.

Conclusion 1: You know what you want, but you don’t pursue it (for long enough).

Why You Can't Start

If you're reading this, I assume that we both can agree on a few goals to thrive towards:

• You work on something every day that you deeply care about.

• You have financial, location, and time freedom.

• You continue to grow as a person - in all areas of life.

Since I was 14 years old, when I discovered Gary Vee, those were my guiding principles.

Those were the criteria for the life that I set out to create for myself.

Becoming a 'YouTuber' was the only thing my 14-year-old mind could grasp. It would let me integrate the above elements into my life.

So why didn't I follow through? Why am I starting now, at 21 - 7 years later?

The answer is my beliefs. 

As I thought about starting my YouTube channel, I noticed others' opinions of this career.

I heard stuff like "YouTubers don't help society" or "only experts should give advice." This matched my experience too. I saw many online personalities sell shit courses on topics that they knew close to nothing about.

I started forming beliefs about why I couldn't pursue this path.

So I spent years tiptoeing around my true passion. I tried university for 2 semesters. I then started a few online businesses. I did this while thinking about what could have been. Seeing others succeed in the space didn't help. They had no more knowledge or experience than I.

The final straw was when I started to see success in my recruiting business 2 months ago.

I found an opportunity that could make me up to $50,000 a month within 3 years.

But it required me to build a team in my home country. I had to stay close to our clients. I had to work with clients for up to 5 years at a time. And I had to work over 10 hours per day for years to make it happen.

As I looked at my future, I realized that the best-case scenario was not what I had in mind at all for my life.

It didn't meet any of the above criteria.

• I didn't care about the problem that I was solving.

• I wouldn't have time or location freedom (what role does money play, if you're too busy to spend it).

• I wouldn't have time to grow in other areas of my life outside of business.

This realization made me question my beliefs about my goals and abilities. It eventually led me to pursue my passion.

Conclusion 2: You tell yourself that you can’t pursue the thing that you want. Or stop before putting in enough time because you don’t believe that you can succeed.

Deprogram Your Mind - Change Your Beliefs

Truth is subjective. “The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right." - Henry Ford.

Our beliefs are the best explanation we have, based on the evidence we've observed in our life.

Ask yourself: If what you believe in has created a life that you don't want, should you be holding onto this belief?

The only beliefs that we should be holding and maintaining in our lives are the beliefs that are a benefit to us.

I saw younger and less experienced people make money online with a personal brand. It made me think that maybe I was full of shit.

Maybe I was telling myself lies all along?

And then I caught myself on the thought: "They shouldn't be giving advice. They're not experts. Why would anyone listen to them, if you can find people who've had way more success in the same niche?"

It was painful. But, I had now found the thought that came to mind whenever I thought about building my own personal brand.

"I am not good enough to help others."

I then went on to change that belief to "I am good enough to help others."

This change in belief now allows me to relentlessly pursue my passion & will create the life that I desire.

Conclusion 3: You need to change what you believe, so you can pursue the thing that you want until you see success.

Here is the 7-step process, which I used to identify & change my belief. I will be walking you through every step, while using my own belief as an example so you can follow along:

Step 1) Identify Your Belief

Every belief starts with a thought. In my case: "I can't build a personal brand." Most of the time, this isn't the core or root belief.

It's an emotional reaction to a core belief. The core belief could be something like: "I am not good enough" or "I am a failure".

The 1. lesson, is that we always need to be working with our core belief. Otherwise, you cannot change it because it will return like cutting off the branch of a weed instead of the root.

It can be hard to identify the core belief when we have been suppressing it for a long time. So we need to question every thought until we're at the bottom. This can be done by asking "Why?".

"I can't build a personal brand." - Why?

"Because nobody will listen to me." - Why?

"Because I am not an expert" - Why do you need to be an expert to be listened to?

"Because only experts are good enough to help others & since I am not an expert, I am not good enough."

It is important to note that the thought "I can't build a personal brand" can have many core beliefs that support it:

"I can't build a personal brand."

"If I try to build a personal brand I will fail."

"If I fail people will judge me."

"If people will judge me, they will see me as a failure."

"If people see me as a failure, then I am a failure."

Step 2) Examine Your Belief

You should only hold beliefs that you have questioned and decided to believe.

To change your beliefs, you have to revoke the idea that some kind of truth exists separately from you. Beliefs are not true or false. They're beneficial or detrimental.

Make a list of how it is beneficial to you & how it is detrimental to you. Decide if it's more beneficial or detrimental. If it's detrimental, decide what you would rather believe. (Do this through inverted thinking. Use the belief that you don't want to have to guide you toward the one that you want to have.)

As I mentioned at the beginning, I realized that the belief “I am not good enough to build a personal brand” led me to build a life that I didn't want. In this case, I didn't have to write a list. I held the belief against my tenets for a good life (e.g. location, time, and money freedom).

I realized that if I had the opposite belief, my dream life would be possible. I would rather believe that I could build a successful personal brand.

But how do we change our beliefs? To change, we need to understand what makes beliefs so powerful.

Step 3) Determine The Emotions That Are Holding You To Your Belief

By nature, human beings are first and foremost emotional creatures. We base our decision-making process on a hierarchy of emotions. Examine the emotional payoff that happens through your beliefs. From which emotions are you running away?

Example:

When I think thoughts like "I'm not good enough", I give up the responsibility of having to try something new. This way I shield myself from failure, shame, and the hardships of building a personal brand.

or

I might get pity when I feel like I'm not good enough. This makes me feel like people care about me.

Step 4) Decide Whether You Want To Change Your Belief

We've got to decide if the emotional payoff is worth the limitations of our beliefs.

Nothing will help anybody to change something that they don't want to change.

I assume that since you're reading this, there is a belief that you want to change.

That dedication is going to help unglue, the super glue of the emotional payoff, which is keeping you tied to that belief.

Once you decide that you want to change a belief, and the super glue starts to weaken, the belief weakens too.

Step 5) Reframe Your Belief

Play devil's advocate on your own belief. Question its validity. Find evidence that disproves it.

In my example, I got exposed to people who weren't experts, teaching those 1-3 steps behind how to do the next steps. - And people were actually listening, implementing the advice and benefiting from it.

I now had proof that people who were in the same position as me were good enough.

Then I remembered all the times when I had just learned something. For instance, a new gym routine, which I followed for a few weeks. I realized I was making better progress with that routine. I told my friends about it, and they managed to improve their workouts too.

I was no exercise scientist, but still provided great value to my friends, who I was a few steps ahead of.

To have a graphic depiction of this process, you can draw a mind map of the evidence for the belief. You can then challenge every piece of evidence. You do this by creating many counters to it and crossing it out afterwards. It's very satisfying - try it!

Step 6) Gain Conviction In Your New Belief

This is the 2. part of reframing your belief. You've gathered evidence against your old belief. Now, write it down to support your new one.

Once you focus on the evidence for a new belief, your subconscious will find more proof to back it up. You will start by looking for proof. It will snowball into your life. Then, you'll be in a new reality.

For me, it looked like this: "How am I good enough?"

1. I've helped people with my advice before.

2. I can relate to people who are a few steps behind in an endeavour that I've been pursuing better than an expert.

3. Other people with less experience than me, manage to help their followers, and so can I.

You want to look for as much evidence and as much proof as humanly possible. Go on a total scavenger hunt for it. Make it your focus. Read articles & books about whatever you want your new belief to be. Find people online who are just like you, who created the life that you want to have.

Make anything that reinforces your new belief your focus.

Bonus - Step 7) Use Affirmations Correctly

The way affirmations have been taught does not work.

When you have a long-held belief, like "I am not good enough" and you suddenly challenge it with the opposite, "I am good enough.", this contradicts your sense of intelligence. It sounds like a lie.

So we need to back up. Be incremental & place stepping stones, to slowly close the gap between where we are & where we want to be. Come up with things that you actually believe, that are on the way to your desired belief "I am good enough."

Example: "I am not good enough" turns into "I am able to help some people."

Get closer to your desired belief bit by bit. Now, you use it as an affirmation and you truly believe it.

That's it. I've given you the 7-Step-System on how to change your life by changing your beliefs. I encourage you to follow the steps & meditate on your life.

You have a transformative journey ahead. It will be very emotional & difficult at times. Take action, but don't be too hard on yourself.

Don't forget: "Change is not an event, it's a process." - Cheryl James

Are you an up-and-coming creator who wants to be with like-minded people? Message me on X. I'm building an online community for us!